Into Her Mind

Sesshomaru/Kagome Vault

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:01:58 GMT

First Impressions

So, this is a series I started, prompted by the contests in the dokuga_contestcommunity. These are all based on the Sesshomaru/Kagome pairing from the show Inuyasha, which is owned wholly by Rumiko Takahashi.

PLEASE NOTE: every link does go back to the original entry and every part is blanketed by a PG-13 rating. You have been warned. Thanks.

This story is based in an alternate universe. After Kagome's grandfather dies, her mother doesn't have enough money to keep the shrine and is forced off the land and into a new neighborhood with houses built for families with little money. Kagome enters a new highschool - a highschool full of demons! What mischief and dangers await her?

Part One - First Impression
Part Two - An Old Man's Letters
Part Three - (fateful) Encounter
Part Four - Open Ears, Closed Eyes

Stares

Another Sesshomaru/Kagome story I began some time ago based on the prompts from the community ebony_silks. These are all based on the Sesshomaru/Kagome pairing from the show Inuyasha, which is owned wholly by Rumiko Takahashi.

PLEASE NOTE: every link does go back to the original entry and every part is blanketed by a PG-13 rating. You have been warned. Thanks.

Sesshomaru has been around the shard hunters for some time, and Kagome is starting to get a little scared. Its not his imposing countenace, its his staring. What does it all mean for her?

Part One - Breakfast
Part Two - Stares
Part Three - Denial
Part Four - Homecoming?
Part Five - A Vexing Circle
Part Six - Over Spilled Tea
Part Seven - Display

Other (un)Connected Drabbles/One-Shots

Once again, these are all Sesshomaru/Kagome writings from the show Inuyasha, created by the wonderful mind of Rumiko Takahashi.

Catchin' Up

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 02:02:21 GMT

So, I was browsing my journal and realized the last REAL entry I made was a bit after prom. A lot has happened since then.

A lot as in summer and the first two weeks of SENIOR YEAR.

That's a lot.

But I'm gonna summarize by narrowing down the big stuff:

1) Had my birthday with all my friends. It was my best birthday yet.
2) Went to Colorado and hiked my butt off.
3) Started hanging out and playing video games with my date from prom
4) Said date asked me out on a date
5) Said date is actually now my boyfriend (amazing how these things happen)
6) Tons of fun in Colorado again
7) Started school (Did I mention I'm a SENIOR?)
8) Said farewell to one of my best friends (she went off to college, the stinker)
9) Starting the application process

That's my first two weeks of SENIOR YEAR plus the summer. In summary.

I'm extremely happy right now. Its unhealthy. I'm still nervous around JP (we'll call my boyfriend that for now)...he still weirds me out...but I know that I can actually control him now so I'm not all that freaked. And he's nice. Really nice. And sweet. Incredibly sweet. He's patient and understands that I freak out easily.

I think that if I were to run, he might try and follow. Which is a good feeling. Considering if something gets too serious or too perfect I tend to freak out and run. Because nothing's supposed to be so perfect, or so happy... :)

Anyways. That's life right now.

...How are ya'll?

Writer's Block: Fashion Forward

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:05:23 GMT

What do you think we'll be wearing twenty years from now?

Presented by Intel, Sponsors of Tomorrow.

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Haha, probably the same crap we do today. Although, in maybe fifty more years clothes will be obsolete. XD

Advice? Por favor?

Tue, 19 May 2009 03:49:43 GMT

So, I went to prom with one of my...well...I consider him one of my guy friends. It was fun. Now, for those of you who don't know, I'm not a real 'touchy-feely' girl. I'm shy, and my sister describes me as 'introverted' to her friends. But on prom night I was watching this movie at this party with a couple of people who didn't feel like dancing or playing pool. And he walks in, sits on the side of my chair and, after some serious considering, I scooted over and was like: "Take a seat."

F.Y.I: this guy is a creeper. Real touchy. He weirds me out sometimes, not to be mean. He's just that way.

So he sits down and after a few tense minutes of me sitting straight like a board, I decide: What the hell? "Don't do anything creepy," I told jim and lean back and try to relax. So, basically we're snugglin' up on this chair, much to all my friends surprise.

That's how prom went.

The following week, things are basically normal. Except now we're talking a lot more and I really start to consider him an actual friend.

I was talking to another guy and he was like: "Yeah, I asked him if the movie you guys were watching was a chickflick and he told me that he didn't know." And when I asked why he wouldn't, he said: "He told me he wasn't paying attention."

And THEN, this one day I dressed as a hippie for my friend's history project and me and the prom date are chatting and laughing...except I've noticed he's gotten really touchy with me again. I'm walking to my car with another one of my guy friends and suddenly he starts to laugh. When I ask what's so funny he says: "You don't even realize it!"

"What?"

"How much he's hitting on you!"

So...and now my friend (this one a girl) agrees and said: "He HAS been paying a LOT of attention to you lately."

And its gotten worse. Like...last week it was bearable. Now its just kind of...weird. Creepy almost. Like a stalker, except not so extreme.

So here's what I have to ask you: WHAT DO I DO?! I'm tempted to just tell him he's in my bubble space but...any other advice?

Removing Bad Vibes

Mon, 18 May 2009 02:39:42 GMT

So, Friday afternoon, I cut off ten inches of my hair and to give to Locks of Love. Now its super duper short. Shortest its been in years. And I gotta say, I feel like every bad emotion I've had has been chopped off, leaving a new me.

Except that new me's already been tainted by annoyance and such silly emotions like that, so I'm not really all that new anymore.

Leaving This Untitled

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 03:01:56 GMT

Haven't updated in awhile...mainly, because I've been so bogged down by school work. I had a college counceling project due that I had kept putting off because I didn't want to go ask a teacher for a recommendation letter. I was - still am, actually - freaking out over two research papers I'm doing.

One is for english and the assignment itself has become so freaking complicated that I have no idea what I'm doing anymore so I'm just going with the flow. See, first he told us that we were writing a position paper, which everyone assumed was going to be a research paper with one position! Our assumption? Totally wrong! So every source every student found was completely useless when he told us the real assignment, which was a paper consisting off three separate papers! Sound confusing yet? Haha. Yeaaaah. Its annoying. And hte subject I chose at the beginning of the year - the one that was supposed to be for the research paper with one position - is hard when I have to find two different positions!! AAAH!

The second paper is much easier, just much more time-consuming. I have to interview somebody - that's the biggest problem. The paper itself is over the Vietnam War, but my topic is over the Kent State shooting that took place in May of 1970. Its all very interesting and depressing. And I have no idea who I'm going to interview. And the Interview has to be turned in next week. ...Ah.

Plus, I've had softball. We got first at a tournament a few weekends ago. It was awesome, to say the least. Our last game of the season is tomorrow. Should be fun, considering it was a team we've played previously and they're total bitches. Excuse my French, but they are...or were, when we played them last. And by that, I mean they were rude to us, calling us names like "slut". I'm still surprised none of them got called out on it.

Oh, yeah, and prom is next weekend. YAY! Haha.

Writer's Block: Half a Glass

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:38:05 GMT

Do you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

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I tend to be a pessimistic realist. If there ever was one. Haha.

Writer's Block: Fearsome

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:04:23 GMT

The boogeyman, global thermonuclear war, being forced to eat broccoli—there's a lot to be afraid of when you're a kid. What was your biggest childhood fear?

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I'm scared easily, so I had a lot to be afraid of when I was younger. Elevators, mainly. (That's a lot story). But I was TERRIFIED of the world being destroyed by a giant meteor. I had watched some movie about it, and then one day I was sick from school and couldn't find the remote, but my mom turned on the TV and it happened to be on the Discovery channel.

...There was a program on a giant meteor.

...I was scarred for life.

I'm Sick...What's new?

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 04:02:55 GMT

So, I've been sick for a good week now. Going on two.

Which sucks, considering I've got the dance coming up that I've got a pretty, long gown for. It's one of those girls-ask-the-boys, formal dances. I'm so excited about it, I almost hyperventalate. I was going to ask my crush, but he was asked the day before the invitations were sent out, so his date cheated. But whatever, I asked out my (considered) best guy friend, the one I thought I loved. Probably do. I'm slowly falling out of it, though. There's no way he'd look my way when he's surrounded by his two ex-girlfriends (my best friend being one of them).

According to the doctor, though, I should be healthy by Saturday so I'm telling my date to not put away his dancing shoes just yet. Because, he might not dance, but I'll make him dance. >:) I will not go to a dance and not dance, because then that's defeating the purpose of the DANCE, right? Right. Bwah ha ha ha.

And that's basically all that's been happening. I want to talk more about my crush - code name Geraldo - but I don't want to bore any of my possible readers/friends with my mindless, girlish chatter.

Haha.

SUCCESS!

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 04:36:31 GMT

Okay, first thing first: Happy holidays, everyone!

Second thing: Just got back from a skii trip with my pop. It was a freaking BLAST. Well, okay, we skiied only two days, but it was still so much fun and I haven't been on a father-daughter trip with him before. It was great. The drive from the Eagle airport to Aspen wasn't much fun; we were given a car without four-wheel-drive, half a tank of gas when we paid for a full, and windshield wipers that I like to say are the definition of the phrase: "DAMN IT, NOT AGAIN!". Why? Because they sucked. They didn't work. At all. And did I happen to mention we were driving in a freaking SNOW storm? Yeah, those things would have come in handy.

Third thing: On the ski trip, we saw Antonio Banderas. My dad spotted him while we were going up the escalator, and he was going down the down one. I never saw the face, but it looked like him from the back (don't ask me how I know, I just do).

Fourth thing: I am back on my own computer!! That's right folks: I am officially moved back into th playroom, and my computer FINALLY has Internet again! No more of that laptop (although it now holds 90% of everything I've written in the past six months). I am so happy to be back on this computer...although my hand is cramping...huh, that's never happened before. It must be because I haven't used an actual keyboard in a while...

Anyways, that's all my news so far. Have a safe, fun holiday everyone!

Writer's Block: Set Sail

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:53:06 GMT

Spike and Angel, President Roslin and Gaius Baltar, Harry and Hermione—shippers often find pairings that the original author might have overlooked. What coupling of fictional characters would you most like to see?

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Ah, geeze.

Sesshomaru and Kagome. (Inuyasha)

Zuko and Katara. (Avatar)

Gemma and Simon (I think that was his name). (Rebel Angels)

Haruhi and Mori. (Ouran Host Club)

The list goes on. I usually go for the good girl/bad guy pairing so... ^^;

Writer's Block: Infamous

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 16:48:24 GMT

Today is known to some as the Day of Infamy, in commemoration of what happened at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. In your lifetime, what date sticks out as the most memorable in terms of world events?

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I think for most people in my age-group, it'll be 9/11. I remember that I was in Mrs. Sims' fourth grade class. It had been one of those perfect days, you know? Clear blue skies, and my mom was supposed to come bring me lunch. Somebody told me they saw my mom outside the classroom, and she stepped in and asked to speak to my teacher. I was confused because why was she bringing my lunch so early? I saw my mom through the door window from my seat; she was waving her hands around, making her hands parallel and then dropping them. I started getting worried when Mrs. Sims came back into class and said that my mom was here to pick me up.

When we got home, I sat in front of the TV for hours. I didn't really know what was going on, but I was overly excited in that childish way. See, my sister went to NYU and lived about six blocks from the Trade Centers. She had been talking to my mom on the phone when the plane hit, and then lost connection. My mom freaked out and got on the computer, and thankfully was able to talk to Courtney over the Internet. Eventually, Courtney had to evacuate and we didn't speak to her until late that night. Really late.

I remember my dad came home from work early, and I thought: Yay! Daddy's home! But he came straight to the couch and sat down with me, he didn't talk. Just watched the TV.

The thing that sticks out most to me is the live footage. I remember watching as people jumped out of the windows of the Trade Centers. Those images have been burned into my mind. I had been confused at the time: What was that thing hanging from the window? Was it debris? My dad covered my eyes at one point, but I could still hear the news caster as they explained what was going on.

[ the Mountain Lion That Turned Into the Deer ]

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 06:01:21 GMT

Note: Based on a true event.

It was a cold, Fall evening, a sky overhead blanketed in stars. A normal family outing; Camille and her sister Sandra had driven to the property settled between the small towns of McGregor and Gatesville, smackdab in the middle of Texas country, that her parent's had settled on buying months ago.

The weather was clear and calm, and the girls' father had decided that it would be a perfect night to spotlight. For years now, the family had enjoyed crowding in their suburban, packing warm blankets and a hefty-sized flashlight, to spy on animals unsuspecting of prying human eyes. But what had turned out to be at first a boring night -- "Another deer!" Sandra had complained as she drew the spotlight back into the car -- took a wild turn when the unsuspecting family pulled across the creek and onto a well-hidden road thick with naked tree-trunks on either side.

"I'm tired," admonished Camille's mother as she settled into the backseat, holding Sandra's dog close in order to stay warmer.

"Just a little bit more," begged Camille, staring out her window with a small spotlight strapped to her forehead.

"All we're seeing is deer," Sandra muttered, "I know there are other animals here! I've seen the tracks by the pond."

Their father glanced back at his wife. "Just wait. If we don't see any animals up on the Plateau, we'll come back." His wife huffed, but quieted her complaints.

Suddenly, Sandra sucked in a breath of surprise, and then she exclaimed: "Stop the car!" She opened the moon-roof and, with a small struggle, managed to pull herself half-way through so that she could point the spot-light easier into a particular group of trees just off to the right of the road.

"What is it?" Camille wondered in excitement, unable to see past her mother's knees. Why, oh, why hadn't she sat on the right side of the suburban? "I can't see anything!"

"It's..." Sandra paused, "It's a cat!"

Camille paused, breathless. "A cat?" She glanced anxiously over to her sister's dog, checked to make sure she wasn't considering jumping out a window, told her mother to hold on a little tighter. "Like, a house cat?"

"I think it's a bobcat!"

"I can't see anything," their father said, trying to look around his older daughter's body, which blocked his view.

"It's there, between the trees. How can you guys not see it?" She was excited, trying to pull herself further out of the moon-roof to get a better look.

"Well, you're higher up and have a better view," their father explained.

"Oh, right."

For a moment, the car fell silent. Camille squinted her eyes, got onto her knees, leaned as far forward as she could but still could not see the cat. And then -- there! It moved! She had seen it for just a second, but the animal had turned it's head toward them, she had seen the flash of its metallic-green eyes in the bright light.

"What color is it?" asked their father curiously.

There was a long pause, and then: "Beige...tannish."

There was a drawn out silence that only lasted a few seconds, but it was deep enough to cause Camille to look over at her father nervously. Finally, he answered: "That'd be a mountain lion."

Camille felt her worries sky-rockets. Mountain lions weren't known to be easily driven off. She had overheard one of her classmates talking about the difference between a bear and one of the big cats once. He had said that to get rid of a bear, you had to make yourself real big or pretend to be dead. Mountain lions, he had said, were immpossible. When they wanted to pounce, they'd pounce -- no if's, but's, or and's.

As if the cat knew they were talking about it, the mountain lion readjusted itself; pulled away from the tree line, turned to face them slightly.

"Sandra, I think it'd be smart if you got back in the car now," laughed their father as he started to roll the windows up. Obediently, Sandra dropped gracelessly back into the car and fell into the passenger's seat before quickly getting on one knee and rolling her window back down, turning the spotlight on the animal outside.

"This is so cool," she breathed. "A mountain lion. It's a mountain lion!"

"This is awesome," their father corrected.

This is kind of scary, Camille thought.

There was another silence where the small family dutifully watched the animal hidden away and, almost with the same conviction, the animal stared back. And then, slowly, it turned it's head to the side, revealing it's profile and a very distinct, elongated nose.

A heavier silence, and then a disappointed sigh. "A deer," Sandra ground out. "It's a freaking deer."

And they drove away.

So...Tired...Can't....Go on....

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 15:33:57 GMT

Uhg, school, school, and more school. It's not fun, at all. In my programming class, I didn't get to finish my project in time because my code refuses to work properly. Thankfully, the teacher is a saint and said, "Just hold it until Monday". I was so depressed over it though. On Wedsnday, when I realized: 'Shit, I'm not gonna be able to finish this in time', I got so stressed out I almost started crying at school. I've only cried at school once since entering highschool and I plan on keeping it that way; I hate the attention it stirs up (and even that one time, the minute I felt myself crying (it was also due to stress) I walked calmly outside with one of my more understanding friends and then promptly cried on her shoulder). Instead of crying this time though, I just got a few tears and talked to another one of my friends about how stressed I was.

But Wedsnday's programming class was actually good, too, because the guy I think I have a crush on was really sweet on me. ^^; I kept on sighing, I guess, while my friend the Programming God helped me (he was trying to figure out why the hell my program refused to work) and he walked up to me, leaned forward on the counter, looked into my eyes, and said, "Stop sighing," but it was in a sweet voice, like he was worried. Ah, I'm such a girl; thinking way too in to this sort of thing. He also patted my head and walked past, and he did this about three or four times, just passing and patting my head. Hahaha, what a weirdo.

And, I guess I haven't really written a journal entry since way before Halloween. Last Saturday my friend threw a Halloween-themed party, and we all dressed up; it was the first time any of us girls had bothered dressing "sexy" for Halloween. One of those firsts and it was a load of fun. I took one my sister's old pink tennis skirts (F.Y.I, I don't ever wear miny skirts) and an Oxford button-down and braided my hair into super high pig-tails with pink ribbons. I wore gray and pink knee-socks and highheels, a James Dean tie, an big rimmed, black glasses. Any guesses as to what I was? I was...A NAUGHTY DORK/SCHOOLGIRL.

My two friends that hosted the party had gotten two strobe lights hooked up into the living room, so all the girls were dancing. Only problem was, the boys were in the kitchen watching the UT v. Some-Other-Team football game, including the guy I mentioned before. XD We were so confused: "How can they watch footballs when there are girls dancing like this in such a small space?!" Haha, eventually the games came down during half-time and partied it up. But the minute the game was back on, they left again. Some of the guys stayed, of course, and we decided to just start the scary movie. We watched 28 Days.

What a twisted movie. It wasn't all that good, in fact, I thought it was kind of funny, but I still screamed in some parts. You can't help it when you're in a big group of people. ^^;

In the end UT lost and everyone was depressed. After 28 Days we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or part of it, and everyone started to leave. It was around one-ish.

Sigh, but yeah, it was fun.

Writer's Block: The Undead

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:05:01 GMT

With Halloween on the horizon, burning questions about the undead need to be answered: Can being a zombie be considered suffering?

Submitted By destynnee

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My friend is a zombie and, personally, I'm proud to say she doesn't seem to suffer in the slightest. She enjoys long walks in the cemeteries and sharing a brain-shake with anybody with the ability to stomach it. Sure, a hand -- or even her head -- might fall off on occassion, but she doesn't seem bothered by it and neither are we!

Writer's Block: Cryptozoology

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 22:52:23 GMT

Bigfoot, the Yeti, the Loch Ness Monster, el chupacabra—what is your favorite creature that may or may not exist?

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Loch Ness Monster and werewolves. I've actually been told a story about werewolves; my cousins saw a creature like a werewolf at their house outside their house during the nighttime, but whether or not its true or not or whether its real or not is still up in the air. Considering they admitted that they might have drank a lot that night. Haha.

Example of Beatles Challenge: Part 2

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 01:09:58 GMT

Here's my exmaple:
Rating: PG-13
Time-Period: Post-War
Notes: Took me forever to do. Not to mention I had all of these songs stuck in my head at the same time. Haha. Every story is 100 words long. That was the most difficult part.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of the songs used for the prompts.

1) Happiness is a Warm Gun:

She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand.

The slap spoke thousands of unspoken words in just one movement. The room fell quiet as the sound rang on and on, echoing off the walls. Everyone eyed the couple nervously. Mai retracted her hand almost immediately, just as shocked as everyone else. What did I just do?

The red hand print swelled slightly against Zuko’s unmarred cheek. He touched it gently and lifted his burning gaze on his wife. I can’t go back now, Mai thought to herself. “She has to leave, Zuko,” she insisted, “I don’t want that woman in my home any longer. It’s her or me.”

2) Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds:

Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, and she's gone.

When he didn’t find her in her room, he panicked. He raced to her brother’s room, threw open the doors. His room was empty, too. He raced from the palace, ignoring the servants and guards that chased after him. He ran from the palace, entered the busy market, searching for familiar blue eyes. There! He grabbed the woman’s shoulder, spun her around to look at her. No, he realized, that’s not her.

He sprinted from the market to the docks in time to watch a Water Tribe ship set sail and rest his eyes upon the woman who got away.

3) It Won’t Be Long:

Ev'ry day we'll be happy now that I know you won't leave me no more.

Katara embraced the cold as it slammed into her body, sucking in a breath and releasing it happily. She tapped her foot impatiently as the plank was lowered, and then she ran down, throwing her arms around her father’s neck in a long hug. “I’m home,” she whispered with a small smile.

“Welcome back,” he whispered as he stepped aside, revealing the young man behind him.

“Aang,” she breathed. He looked away, as if he was shy, and she pulled him to her, hugging him tightly. “I missed you so much,” she murmured.

She was surprised it tasted like a lie.

4) I Want You (She’s so Heavy)

I want you so bad it's driving me mad!

It was annoyingly quiet without the waterbender. There was no child’s laughter, no arguing, nothing. Mai had left with her brothers not long after Katara disappeared.

“It’s clear to me where your priorities lie,” she had said frankly, “I’ll come back in a week’s time with the papers, and then it will be done.”

He could still hear Katara’s voice as she begged him to let her go home. His hands clenched into fists at his side as he shook with anger. She was an annoyingly optimistic, motherly person who enjoyed making him angry.

So, why did he miss her?

5) Lady Madonna

Tuesday afternoon is never ending.

The day had started out like every other day.

She woke up, ate her breakfast, fought with Sokka, worked in her room, and caught up on the world news. She learned of the Fire Lord’s divorce with his Lady, learned of how the rebellions had gotten worse in the Fire Nation. She ate lunch with her family, talked with Aang.

Everything was according to schedule. The only difference was that it was a Tuesday. She had finished work early this particular Tuesday, leaving her with nothing to do but think. Lately, she hated thinking.

Just like how she hated Tuesdays.

6) Blackbird:

All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Aang watched Katara from where he sat in the corner of the room. She was whispering with her grandmother, her smile too wide and too happy as she talked about last minute wedding arrangements. The last few weeks had been stressful on their relationship, Aang knew. He was no longer a child and couldn’t be placated by a simple kiss on the cheek or the lips. He was a grown man, now, and he was finally getting what he wanted. But her smile, the way she held herself up, spoke more words than she could say.

She didn’t want it.

7) Hey Jude:

Hey Jude, don't be afraid; you were made to go out and get her.

Zuko had burned the wedding invitation the moment it arrived and then, irritated with himself and the servant who had dutifully handed the Fire Lord his mail, proceeded to storm the halls. A few days later, a completely different invitation arrived in the mail. It was signed and written by his friend the Avatar himself. Intrigued, Zuko opened it.

The contents left him wide eyed, his heart beating rapidly. He tossed the letter aside and called for one of the servants. “Start packing my travel case. Heavy winter clothes!”

Hey Zuzu, Aang had written, It’s off. Come and get her.

8) Hey Bulldog:

What makes you think you're something special when you smile?

Katara hadn’t been happier in days. She walked through the Northern Water Tribe’s busiest market, happy to be out and about. She had agreed to come and teach a class for waterbending, despite her better judgement. But now that she was back in this huge, beautiful city, she was pleased with her decision.

That is, until she turned a corner and came face to face with a man with familiar golden eyes and a large smile; an uncharacteristically large smile for the Fire Lord. Katara took one look, stopped in her tracks, turned, and walked briskly in the other direction.

9) Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Happy ever after in the market place.

“Katara,” Zuko called as he chased after her, “Katara! Stop!” People turned their eyes on the two, but then looked away. A lover’s spat? Nobody cared enough to bother with their story.

Katara huffed, a blush filling her cheeks despite herself.

“Stop running away from me, woman!” Zuko shouted as he grabbed her wrist.

“Let me go!” she shrieked angrily. “Zuko, you prick, leave me alone!”

“I’m not letting you get away again.” With that, he readjusted his grip and in one swift movement, swung Katara over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and walked back toward his ship.

10) Can’t Buy Me Love

I'll give you all I've got to give if you say you love me too.

Katara hadn’t spoken a word to him since arriving in the Fire Nation. Her eyes were hard, her lips pursed into a straight, thin line. Zuko had realized his rash actions, and had apologized. But she still refused to give one of her smiles, one of her kind looks. Zuko only had so much patience for these kinds of games, and he reminded her of that every day. She only nodded her head silently. She didn’t want to believe Aang had told Zuko to do this, that Sokka had agreed.

It’s like they wanted her to suffer in his love.

11) All You Need is Love

[There’s] Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.

The day Katara spoke her first word to him was a day he’d never forget. It was monsoon season, the rain was beating against the iron roof of the palace, and Katara was sitting on a rock near the duck pond. She had known he was behind her without even looking. “Good morning, Zuko,” she had said. Her voice was sweet to her ears, and he could hear an ironic smile in her voice. “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”

When she turned to look at him, she was smiling, even as the rain poured around them.

She was beautiful.

12) Because

Love is old, love is new. Love is all, love is you.

“Zuko,” Katara murmured under her breath as she glanced around at the angry faces, “Zuko, pay attention to the meeting, please.”

“I am,” he said.

“No, you’re staring,” she blushed, “Stop staring at me.”

He blinked, as if he had just woken up from a dream, and sat up. “That’ll be all, please leave.” Mutterings trailed after the advisors as they filed from the room, leaving Katara and Zuko alone. “Now can I stare at you?”

Katara’s face turned beat red. “It’s weird,” she admitted, glancing away from him. He made her nervous and itchy.

“It’s love,” Zuko corrected, smiling.

13) Helter Skelter

Well, do you - don't you want me to love you?

He wrapped his arms around her, buried his face in her neck, and sighed in pleasure. She was stiff in his arms, frozen in place by the confusion of her own emotions. Whenever he did this, it made her extremely happy, but also shy and a little nervous.

“Z-Zuko?” she wondered when he didn’t move away like he always did.

“I love you,” he said, “I love you. I love you, I love you.”

Her breath caught in her throat the instant his teeth brushed against her sensitive skin. She shivered and, even though it wasn’t unpleasant, she stepped away.

14) You Like Me Too Much

You'll never leave and you know it's true, 'Cause you like me too much and I like you.

Katara’s things had, for a long time, sat in boxes in her room. It had been a year since she had been forcefully brought back to the palace in the Fire Nation. But the day she unpacked the last box imprinted itself into Zuko’s mind.

“You won’t leave,” he had always told her when she had stared longingly at the boxes.

“I won’t leave,” she had agreed.

But he had never thought she would walk into his room and sit down in front of him on his bed. She looked very serious as she opened her mouth.

“I love you.”

15) The End

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Zuko brought Katara forward and for a moment hesitated. Did she want this? Would she take it? He leaned forward and placed his lips gently over hers – Don’t change your mind, he begged silently, don’t change your mind. She didn’t.

She wrapped her hands around the back of his neck, dug her finger into his hair, and took him off guard by pulling him down toward her. Zuko crushed her body against his. I love you, he thought and hoped she’d get the message, I’ve always loved you.

She pulled away and gently placed her lips over his scar. I love you, too, she thought.

Example of Beatles Challenge: Part 1

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 01:07:44 GMT

1) All My Loving:

Remember I'll always be true.

The final bags had been placed on board and all that remained were the goodbyes and meager promises of a future ‘hello’. Aang studied Katara’s expression as she hugged her family; she would save him for last because, after all, he was her fiancé. She finally faced him, a large smile spread across her face.

“I still don’t like you going alone,” he murmured.

“I’ll be fine!” Katara said gently, “Zuko will take good care of me.”

That’s what I’m afraid of, Aang thought to himself dully, not wanting to admit his worries.

A brief kiss and she was gone.

2) Help!

My independence seems to vanish in the haze.

Zuko fell back into his throne with a very un-Fire-Lord-like groan. Mai chuckled from where she sat in the shadows before standing and walking over to him. “What’s next?” grumbled Zuko with one arm draped over his eyes.

Mai pulled the schedule from her sash. “Grievances until noon, meetings with the generals at one, food tasting at three, and your advisors want to talk to you about the rebellions. That will last around three hours, I guess. And after…”

“When does Katara arrive?” he perked up, leaving Mai wondering if her husband had heard anything she had just listed off.

3) I am The Walrus:

Man, you been a naughty boy; you let your face grow long!

The plank lowered and Katara barreled off the ship without a second glance. She tackled Zuko in a hug, happy to see him after so many years, but he made no move to return it.

Zuko was stiff under her embrace and she pulled away to study him. He had premature gray hairs and his lips were pursed into a serious, straight line. Katara glanced at Mai, who shrugged as if saying: What do you expect me to do?

Lifting her hands to his cheeks, Katara pulled on them ruthlessly with a severe expression. “I’m here, so no more mask.”

4) Come Together:

"I know you, you know me. One thing I can tell you is you got to be free ".

“Ah, wait! You can’t go in there!”

“Oh, go away,” a familiar voice shouted in return and the doors to Zuko’s private study swung open gently and Katara stepped in, looking calm. “Good morning, Zuko. What are you doing?”

Zuko glanced up from the documents. “I’m working,” he motioned toward a nearby chair, “have a seat and I’ll be right with you.”

Katara frowned and complied with his request, if only for a time. Minutes turned to an hour. Finally, impatience overruled her good temperament and she stood, grabbed Zuko by the arm, and forcefully dragged him from the office.

5) Dear Prudence

The clouds will be a daisy chain.

Katara hadn’t been at the palace for more than a week and she had already made a huge impact on everybody’s lives – the citizens, the servants, the advisors, generals, the entire royal family including Mai’s little brothers.

And, Mai loathed admitting it, the waterbender was helping Zuko. He was much more relaxed than he had been just a month ago before Katara’s arrival.

“I apologize for being late,” Zuko said as he stepped into the throne room.

“Where were you?” Mai asked, bewildered.

“Katara insisted the sky was perfect for watching clouds today.”

Unwanted jealousy tasted foul in her mouth.

6) Eleanor Rigby

All the lonely people, where do they all belong?

Katara enjoyed her walks through the palace, observing those she came across from the shadows with a critical eye. On more than one occasion, she had, not seen but felt the loneliness that stemmed from everyone around her. Her sharp blue eyes missed nothing; the fake smiles, the stiffness, the dead expressions.

Thank goodness Zuko and Mai aren’t like this, she thought to herself one day as she passed by Zuko’s study. With a gasp, she back pedaled toward the open doors, peering inside.

The same dead look she had seen everywhere else met her bright gaze through molten eyes.

7) Get Back

Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner.

Katara was sitting in his office again, choosing to sit on the ground as she sifted through various small portraits. “It’s hard to believe Azula was ever so adorable,” she muttered to herself as she spread the pictures of said evil princess in front of her.

“She was always crazy,” Zuko mentioned off-handedly, flipping the page of a document.

“Lady Katara!” Both Katara and Zuko looked up and saw Mai standing at the door. “It’s time for your fittings.”

Katara nodded and excused herself and Mai followed only after shooting her husband a hard glare.

Zuko missed Katara’s presence sorely.

8) Here Comes the Sun

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting.

The laugh filled his very being and he followed the sound to its source. She was sitting with his wife’s littlest brother, the annoying three-year-old. The child’s laughter was drowned out by her own as she bended the pond’s water around and around. The Fire Lord had forgotten how much he had missed her laughter; she had been with them for a month and had laughed plenty of times with him, but it was different when he wasn’t the immediate cause of the amusement.

His shoulders visibly relaxed and warmth spread from his heart throughout his body.

And he smiled.

9) I Want to Hold Your Hand:

Please say to me you'll let me hold your hand.

Katara was dancing to the music that wove magic through the night sky, holding tight to Mai’s three-year-old brother. It was a festival celebrating the anniversary of the end of the war and the excitement filled Katara’s core, making her giddy with anticipation. Around her, others seemed equally overwhelmed and men began to jostle her back and forth until she was separated from her hosts.

Clutching the child close with one arm, she lifted the mask from her face and looked around. Almost immediately someone took her hand.

She glanced up and familiar molten eyes met her gaze.

10) I’ve Just Seen a Face:

But other girls were never quite like this.

Katara declined another dance. The man with muscles the size of Fire Nation ships frowned in disappointment but walked away, leaving Zuko feeling smug. That was the fifth guy she’d turned down that night, not that he was keeping count. It seemed the young waterbender wanted only to dance with the little boy in her arms, swinging him gently back and forth to the music.

Zuko walked over to her from where he sat beside Mai, bowing dramatically. “May I have this dance?” he teased.

Katara suddenly became very serious, almost sad. “Zuko,” she intoned, “go dance with your wife.”

11) Strawberry Fields:

You know, I know when it's a dream.

Zuko had asked her not to interrupt his meeting, and she had loyally complied to his request only to find out that the so-called meeting was held privately with a sole audience consisting of the Lady Representative Katara. The advisors, she learned, had not been asked to partake in this get-together and had instead been ordered out of his office when the waterbender had arrived.

The fear and jealousy that had been rivaling for attention the past two months finally battered her insides once more and she stopped to stare at the doors, at the laughter that exuded from inside.

12) Something:

Somewhere in her smile she knows that I don't need no other lover.

Zuko hadn’t known she was standing behind him until Mai’s gaze hardened. “Can we help you?” she asked.

He turned his head and there was Katara, smiling at them. “Not at all. I just wanted to say I have everything packed.” She was leaving in four days.

Zuko studied her expression seriously. There was something there he found himself not liking: her smile. Sad and warm and happy; all the emotions she felt were displayed right there one her lips. He watched as she bowed her head and walked away.

He couldn’t help thinking he had just missed something important.

13) Nowhere Man

He's as blind as he can be, just sees what he wants to see.

“Is there a reason you want to leave now?” Zuko asked, glancing up from his desk to study the waterbender before him.

“I don’t like the humidity,” Katara replied, deadpan, something that shouldn’t have taken Zuko off-guard as it did. He couldn’t help the snort of amusement. Her eyes narrowed.

“That’s hardly a reason for you to leave so soon,” Zuko replied, “I don’t ever get to see you…”

“I’ve been here two and a half months,” she interjected, “I miss home.”

“There’s no other reason?” he asked and Katara hated his smug look.

“No,” she repeated, “I miss home.”

14) Across the Universe:

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.

“Why is Sokka here?”

“You said you missed home,” Zuko said with a shrug.

“So you brought Sokka here,” Katara murmured. When Zuko nodded, Katara clenched her teeth tightly to stop herself from throwing something at him. “How could you be so selfish?”

Zuko looked at her in confusion. “What?”

“You’re a selfish, egotistical, controlling prick, Zuko!” Katara accused angrily. “You can’t keep me here. I’m leaving on the next ship to the South Pole whether you like it or not.”

“You can’t leave yet, Katara,” Zuko said quietly as she walked to the door.

“Just watch me,” she replied.

15) Revolution

We'd all love to change your head.

Katara paced her brother’s room, and Sokka chuckled. He found the whole thing amusing, but Katara found it infuriating. “How can you just laugh?” she said angrily.

“Because it’s funny, Katara,” Sokka said with a shrug. “You need to calm down, take a deep breath,” he grabbed his sister by the shoulders and looked into her eyes meaningfully.

“You…” Katara stuttered, “You want me to stay prisoner here?”

“Not prisoner,” Sokka murmured, “The Fire Nation is in trouble. Zuko needs a friend more than ever.”

“I’m leaving, Sokka,” she murmured, “This place is making me insane.”

Sokka studied her. “Obviously.”

Beatles Challenge

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 00:53:33 GMT

I came up with this idea over the summer but never had the chance to do it. The finished product can be found: here.

It was harder than I thought. Anyone is welcome to do this. It's just a list of thirty Beatles songs, one line from every song. There's no time limit, it's just a challenge.

Disclaimr: I don't own any of these songs.

1) All My Loving:

Remember I'll always be true.

2) Help!

My independence seems to vanish in the haze.

3) I am The Walrus:

Man, you been a naughty boy; you let your face grow long!

4) Come Together:

"I know you, you know me. One thing I can tell you is you got to be free ".

5) Dear Prudence

The clouds will be a daisy chain.

6) Eleanor Rigby

All the lonely people, where do they all belong?

7) Get Back

Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner.

8) Here Comes the Sun

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting.

9) I Want to Hold Your Hand:

Please say to me you'll let me hold your hand.

10) I’ve Just Seen a Face:

But other girls were never quite like this.

11) Strawberry Fields:

You know, I know when it's a dream.

12) Something:

Somewhere in her smile she knows that I don't need no other lover.

13) Nowhere Man

He's as blind as he can be, just sees what he wants to see.

14) Across the Universe:

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.

15) Revolution

We'd all love to change your head.

16) Happiness is a Warm Gun:

She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand.

17) Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds:

Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, and she's gone.

18) It Won’t Be Long:

Ev'ry day we'll be happy now that I know you won't leave me no more.

19) I Want You (She’s so Heavy)

I want you so bad it's driving me mad!

20) Lady Madonna

Tuesday afternoon is never ending.

21) Blackbird:

All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

22) Hey Jude:

Hey Jude, don't be afraid; you were made to go out and get her.

23) Hey Bulldog:

What makes you think you're something special when you smile?

24) Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Happy ever after in the market place.

25) Can’t Buy Me Love

I'll give you all I've got to give if you say you love me too.

26) All You Need is Love

[There’s] Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.

27) Because

Love is old, love is new. Love is all, love is you.

28) Helter Skelter

Well, do you - don't you want me to love you?

29) You Like Me Too Much

You'll never leave and you know it's true, 'Cause you like me too much and I like you.

30) The End

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Darling, It's You.

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:56:11 GMT

So, umm. Just updating. I really miss my computer. I want to make so many avatars, it's not funny. And I can, but I have no pictures to use. Because my computer doesn't have internet. And I'm getting tired of this...this...PIECE OF CRAP that is called a LAPTOP!!

-shakes fist at Computer Gods-

I really don't have anything to say. Bummer.

What's new with you?

Five

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 23:50:20 GMT

This is something I made because I was bored. I can't believe this is still bothering me.

All based on true stuff. PG-13 for language.

Her heart was racing, and not from the sheer joy of speaking to him again. Cassandra didn't - wouldn't - want to admit to herself just how happy talking to him made her feel, even if it was over the internet. Any other time, she wouldn't have so easily admitted to herself - no. Any other time, Cassandra would have passed the race of her heart and the brief blush to her cheeks as a heat flash (not that she was to that age, but still).

That day, right then, was different. As her eyes scanned back over his words, she felt the beat of her heart slowly calm until she was sure she felt nothing.

SmellyTea12: Hey, do you think Elizabeth likes me?

How long had it been since Cassandra had asked him if they could be "just friends"? Months? No...no, it had been right after their last final. So, weeks? As her mind backtracked to that time, she felt a cold feeling settle into the pit of her stomach. Days, she thought to herself, it's only been five days.

Hands shaking, she typed out her response and warily sent it.

FrekleWlf555: I don't think so.

Even though she did know. Elizabeth, her best friend of five years, did like him. She had just told Cassandra this the night before over the phone.

SmellyTea12: Oh.

And for a time, they stopped talking. Summer passed slowly, and, for Cassandra, painfully. Talking to Elizabeth over the phone, Cassandra lived through her friend's stories of marine biology camp, of drama and unrequited crushes. Until the last month pulled around and she gathered the courage to message him again.

FrekleWlf555: Hey. How's your summer?
SmellyTea12: Good.

Cassandra hated how he never asked her how she was doing in return, or what she was doing. She hated it.

FrekleWlf555: Please talk to me.
SmellTea12: About what?
FrekleWlf555: ...Anything.

And for a few days, this continued. They spoke of small things; what they did that day, who they saw. Small things, but Cassandra soaked up these impersonal conversations like a sponge until Elizabeth came home from marine biology camp, and their conversations came to an ubrupt end.

"Hey, Cassy," Elizabeth started slowly as she lounged on the couch in Cassandra's living room, "Do you remember when we used to get in so many fights in middle school?"

Cassandra laughed. "Yeah." Cassandra grinned, "Over such stupid things! Boys, mainly."

Elizabeth's smile disappeared instantly, "You didn't like me liking the same boys as you."

At seeing her friend's serious expression, Cassandra's smile also faded away. "We were immature back then," she murmured, "We're juniors now. Older, wiser. We know better than to do things like that."

Elizabeth nodded, and her smile was back as suddenly as it had gone. "I'm so glad."

Cassandra felt unnerved by her friend's attitude and could only twitch her lips upward into something that could just barely be called a smile. "Me, too."

Five blissful days passed, until one fateful afternoon, Cassandra received an instant message.

DiZzYLIZZY: Can I ask you a question?

Cassandra's heart went cold. It was over the internet, but Cassandra knew what was going to be asked way before Elizabeth had a chance to type it out. He asked her out, she thought, he actually asked her out...

FrekleWlf555: Go ahead.
DiZzYLIZZY: It's really two questions... Do you still like Thomas?
FrekleWlf555: Im not sure. I haven't been thinking about it.
DiZzYLIZZY: Okay. Second question. What if, hypothetically, your friend was asked out by your ex-boyfriend?

Sighing, Cassandra leaned back into her chair and closed her eyes. Why would she even ask? I liked him, I did! And still, she asked me...she asks me...Cassandra felt anger ripple through her entire body, awakening emoitions she preferred to keep stowed away. Bitterness, extreme fury, bubbled up into her throat and she felt like throwing up. Taking a deep breath, she type out her response:

FrekleWlf555: If, hypothetically, my friend was asked out by my ex-boyfriend I'd feel awkward. I wouldn't know how to handle it, and probably wouldn't want to be around that friend for a long time. At all. Either of them. In fact, I'm sure I'd be angry. Disappointed, sad, even. But after some time, all of that bitterness will fade away and I'd be back to my old self. Hopefully.

Cassandra wanted to say so much more, but couldn't, wouldn't.

DiZzYLIZZY: Okay...well, I guess I'll just tell you. Thomas asked me out just now.
FrekleWlf555: So? You don't need my approval.
DiZzYLIZZY: You're my best friend! His ex-girlfriend. I need to know if you're okay with this.

I'm not okay, Cassandra thought, not okay at all. I hate this. You. Him. Both of you!

FrekleWlf555: I've told you what to expect. I can't make decisions for your heart.

Five hours later, Elizabeth's status changed from 'single' to 'in a relationship'. And Cassandra sat in her room waiting to wake up.

When school finally started once more, Cassandra arrived bitter and tired. Not only were Thomas and Elizabeth together out of school, but their PDA was bothersome in school, as well.

Cassandra's friend, Lily, glanced in disgust over at the couple and quickly away. "Makes me sick," she grumbled. Lily's gaze turned sympathically over to Cassandra. "How are you?"

Forcing a smile, Cassandra said, "I'm fine." But she wasn't fine. She refused to speak to Elizabeth, couldn't even stand near her. A need for revenge was so strong, Cassandra didn't know what to do with herself. Every day became a trial to come to school, although her friends, and her cousin Katherine, helped keep the day amusing.

Cassandra had never talked so badly of Elizabeth in her life. Guilt was heavy in her heart, but a strong sense of redemption kept her going.

Five days passed, until one day Lily settled beside Cassandra and said, "Liz is upset. She doesn't understand why people can't just "be happy" for her. Doesn't she realize that everything she does hurts those around her?"

Standing, Cassandra swung her backpack over her shoulder. "I told her what to expect from me. She has no right to complain."

The next day, Cassandra pulled Elizabeth over. "Look, I'm not going to apologize for how I've been treating you," she said.

"Good, you shouldn't have to. I should be apologizing to you. If I broke up with him, then we could still be friends, right? I'd break up with him if it only meant we could still be friends!"

Stop being so dramatic, CAssandra thought coldly. Instead, she continued, although some of the anger seeped out into her words, spreadind like poison, "Shut the hell up. I'm your friend, and I want you to be happy, believe it or not. What kind of friend would I be if I told you to break up with him? I want you to be happy, and if that means dating him, then so be it." Elizabeth gave an audible exhale of breath. "But you should know now, and don't forget it: I'll gladly hang out with you. If you start talking about him, I'll leave. I'll stand up, and walk away, or ignore you. If we're hanging out and he comes up to us, I'll walk away. My respect for him is close to none because he's dating you, my best friend. And he couldn't at least go outside our group?" Cassandra stopped before she could go any further.

Elizabeth nodded slowly. "Alright."

Five days passed. And then five weeks. Five months passed, and Cassandra was still fill with bitterness.

And they were still together.

Not five months, quite yet. But it feels that way. And my bitterness is stil here. And I don't think it'll be going anywhere anytime soon.

Sigh. Life.

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 18:32:11 GMT

School's started, so I've been way too busy for any of my internet life. LOL. But thank goodness its Labor Day weekend. I've been chillaxing all weekend.

At my school. the first week is called Howdy week, and every day has a different theme based on an over-all theme. The theme this year was British Invasion, so everything was based off of Across the Universe, the Beatles, and other such awesomeness. But all week its been pretty awkward. The boy that I dated last year fo the last few months of school is dating my best friend now. I've been trying to get over my stubborness so I can hang out with both of them at the same time, and I can proudly say I can hang out with ymy best friend now without too much awkwardness -- if "he" comes up, though, I vroom on out'a there. But I don't want to talk about that because I'm tired of it.

I went to AnimeFest Dallas yesterday with my friend -- my first Anime convention ever!!! It was sooooo much fun! I bought a cute widdle hat with cat ears. X3 Hahaha, it's freakin' awesome.

Anyways, that's that.

China, the Olympics, and Pre-School Anxiety

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 19:31:43 GMT

Well, my dad, my sisters, and my sister's fiance have officially left for China leaving me and my mom to chillax at home. I was invited to tag along, too, but my slight fear of long-distance flying and the idea of leaving my mommy all alone made me want to stay home. ^^; But they're having tons of fun, I bet, going all over the place from Vietnam to Bangkok to...well...other place, too! The lucky ducks.

My mom just had eye surgery on both eyes, and is just now getting out of the house. Bad thing is, I'm her personal driver. Me + driving + my mom = impending disaster. She's never been one to ride in any car her daughters are driving. And it makes it worse that tomorrow I'll be driving her on the highway to Dallas...and, guess what? I've hardly been on the highway since I got my liscence. XD It's my major problem as a driver -- I'm just not confident enough with myself. I had been...but then I got in a wreck on my birthday and all that confidence was washed away. So, yeah, not a good thing. But she's been rather pacient with my driving...as long as I'm in my car and not hers. "Your stops in my car makes me sick!" she complained, "From now on, we're taking your car!" Pfft. It's not my fault her fancy new lexis has sensitive breaks that I'm not used to. XP

Did I mention the group to China are going for the sole reason of going to the Olympics? How exciting for them. And that opening ceremony was kick ass! Them Chinese sure do know how to impress the world!! I was all like: "-speechless- ... Woah." Yeah, just like that. I think my favorite thing was the globe, where everyone ran on. It was so cool!!

And I'm so anxious about school starting. Must be three weeks from now or something, because preseason is starting for everyone. And the fact that I'm not doing a sport is making me sick. I don't like the stress of having to go to P.E. during my free period, even though I love P.E (most of the time). I'm thinking: "Maybe I'll do basketball this year" because I love basketball. But the basketball program scares the living shit out'ta me. Hearing about girls throwing up and passing out doesn't sound like much fun. And all those girls are so intense!! I could never make it on the team. I'm not even sure there's a JV team! Maybe I can talk my mom into letting me do managing. But I'm scared to ask. >> If I wasn't a coward, and not so weak, maybe I'd join fieldhockey again.

But I am. So I can't -- won't.

I wish tennis was an all-year kind'a sport. I'd play tennis, no problem! Tennis and softball would be my two sports.

...Too bad they're in the same season.

Damn Dreams

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 17:06:41 GMT

Last night, I had one of the worriest nightmares I have ever had in a few weeks. I have crazy dreams, in full detail. This summer, I've had one week where all I had were these weird, creepy dreams that scared the shit out'a me every time I woke up. They weren't just scary, they were WEIRD. And that's an understatement. Having a dream that you've been raped and no one believes you isn't exactly a rainbow-and-butterflies things. It scared me, and it scared me even more because I could see everybody's faces to the color of hair and eyes!

But that was that one week. Last night's dream was a nightmare because of...well...Okay, I'll start off with a brief catch-me-up because maybe whoever's reading this doesn't want to go back a few months and read my old journal entries.

A few months ago, I realized I was "in love" (am I? Well, I know its something like that) with my best guy friend. We've been friends for years, since kindergarten. And it broke my heart when I realized he was dating one of my friends, who is notorious for getting bored with the guys she dates after a few months and dumping them. Well, they broke up just before summer, and I know even though I have my chance, I can't. Because my friendship with Ally, the friend who dated him, matters more to me (and my friendship with him, too...). He's been gone all summer, and he told me he'd get in touch with me when he gets home so we can hang out like we used to. Well, guess what? He's back in town! And he didn't call me. He called my cousin. Or she called him...either way, they went out to dinner. When Katie told me that, I think I was more pissed than sad. Maybe a little worried.

What if he likes her?

So, last night's dream was basically, in short, that I told him I liked him and he snubbed me, saying: "But I like Katie" or something like that. I can't even really remember all that well. I can't ever remember what people in my dreams say. I just remember the scenes. We must've been in a war, because he and I were dressed in army clothes and people were shooting at us. XD

...You know, they say dreams are a connection to your deepest sub-conscious or something like that.

The Man of My Dreams? Sad.

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:45:26 GMT

For a week, I was in my home-away-from-home state Colorado. I got home last night, and the most amazing thing happened. I'm probably thinking it too much. Sigh. Read for the story (and I'm going to get into it, so if its cheesy, ignore the cheesi-ness):

The flight was gruesome. Mom wanted to take an earlier flight, so, because we were on the stand-by list and the plane was nearly filled, we were separated. Dad sat at the back of the plane, mom sat a few rows behind me, and I saw on row 22, sitting beside an old man.

Before we boarded, I thought I saw a young man, probably around my age, maybe 18, in front of me but he disappeared before I could get a good look. But I could tell, even from the back, that he was handsome-looking. Somewhere inside of me, I really wished that I could be able to get a seat beside him. If I'm sitting with him, maybe I won't be so scared of flying without my parents with me... But that didn't happen, and I didn't see him again.

That is, until we landed. The pilot told us to let those with a connection on another flight to go first off the plane, so I sat patiently while others stood to gather their things. And that's when something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention, and I turned my face and my eyes met his. The boy from earlier!

I couldn't believe how flustered I felt. I felt like an idiot. Why'd I where pigtails...of all the days that I could have easily worn my hair down, I wore it in pigtails!!

And we just stared at each other. He gave me a little smile, and, being me, I attempted to smile but ended up turning beat red and turning away from him. I was so embarassed!

Eventually, I got off the plane and walked to the baggage claim with my mom while Dad went to get the car. While I waited for the bags to come out, I couldn't stop myself from looking at the guy. I realized that he wore a white shirt with the letters "INDIANA" printed across it, and wore a U.T looking baseball cap. He was alone, but he had a lot of bags.

And I had been right. He wasn't just "hott"...he was handsome. And everytime I saw him, it seemed like he was looking at me too! Oh, God. XD How embarassing.

Eventually, we gathered our bags and went outside to wait for my dad to come pick us up.

"Indiana Boy" (the name I so creatively came up for him) was there too.

When we settled our bags, I leaned against a pillar and, from the corner of my eye, I realize he was pacing. Suddenly, he stopped, and I looked away. My mom nudged me knowingly and I turned and Indiana Boy was stretching, I rolled my eyes at my mom.

And then he took of his shirt.

My reaction: "WTF? -nosebleed-"

Of course, he had one of those whife-beater things that boys like to wear while playing sports and stuff. So he wasn't shirtless. But my GOD, why'd he have to take off his shirt? And I think I remember that, before I turned away, I caught his gaze.

So embarassing! I'm like a dirty little fangirl -- except not.

You know, when you like somebody, you become hyper-aware of their every movement. No matter where you are, you always seem to be able to find them in a room. That was my situation.

When I got in the car, I mourned. I thought that if I was anybody else but me, I would've had the guts to "chat him up". But I didn't. And I might never see Indiana Boy again.

My dad tried to make me feel better, and said that maybe he was looking at one of the colleges near-by and I might see him again. (On second thought, that's unlike my dad. Maybe he was making fun of me?) He said that it sounded like that song that goes like:

"You're beautiful! You're beautiful -- It's true!"

I don't know who its by, but I guess so.

I can't believe I never talked to him. And it's weird; usually, I wouldn't be so caught up over a little something like this.

Why'd he have to take off his shirt?!

Besides that, tonight starts off Avatar Week of Awesomeness! As celebration, the Avatar Club is hosting a series of parties throughout the week. I'm going to be baking cupcakes and a cake for the parties! I'm going to decorate them and make them all cute with Avatar wonderfulness!

I have nothing else really to say. Colorado was a blast, as it always is. Even if this summer's trip was different than the past seventeen years of my life, its alright. Me and my dad were still able to visit the old ranch, which was a terrible idea on our part. Even though I got practice driving on mountain passes, it was an emotional wreck pulling up and finding that the Quonset hut was torn down, that the area where the cows were herded in was gone, that the fence was gone, that the sign that read: Wapiti Canyon Ranch -- the last possible sign of our mark on the line -- was removed.

I pulled the car into park, got out of the car, and walked to the old, rusted gate that held back some cows and leaned against it, staring at the mountainous landscape. And started crying.

When Dad spoke, I realized that it was choked, and when I looked at him he said: "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all."

"I want to go home," I told him between sobs, and walked back to the car with a purpose. But my dad insisted that we wait for the family we had come to recognize as adopted relatives, and I agreed because after all, who knew when I'd be able to see them again?

It turns out they never came. "I told them family comes before us," my dad explained as we got back into the car late that evening. The family had gone to a rodeo to show off their steers and pigs, something that the sons did as a hobby. I never saw them, and I wish I had.

It would've made the trip all the more bareable, I think.